Core Values: Family
Family: “We are committed to cultivating an atmosphere of community where we love, appreciate and affirm each other.”
“Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts.”[1] We’ve all heard the saying; you may even agree with it! The truth is, every family has its own way of doing life, their own quirks, values, and memories. Many people would agree if I said that family is one of life’s most valuable treasures, and yet we see individuals all around us giving priority to everything in their life but family. So, what does it mean for Millar College of the Bible to value family?
First of all, we value the family of God. This is anyone who has repented of their sin and put their faith in Jesus Christ.[2] Secondly, we value the nuclear family defined in Scripture as one man and one woman for life, who follow the command of Scripture to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gn 1:28 NIV). As we flesh this out further, it is critical to understand that these two families are inextricably linked.
But, what about those who never marry? What about couples who long for children but are unable to conceive? These are not incomplete families! We believe that those who never marry are a family unit unto themselves and are more importantly part of the bigger family: the family of God. In our broken world there are also family units where one parent is missing. Each of these journeys can be hard to understand, especially for those walking them. Yet, we know that God sovereignly accomplishes his will with righteousness in ways beyond our understanding. His perfect plan is different for each person, and he is full of abounding grace and kindness. While we know the nuclear family is very significant, we believe it is ultimately a picture of our greater and more important family: the family of God.
It is our job, as singles, marrieds, and parents, to serve and care for one another as family. First Peter 2:17 says we are to “love the family of God.” First Thessalonians 4:9-10 tells us that we are taught by God to love our brothers and sisters in Christ. The Apostle Paul commands believers in 1 Timothy 5:1-8 to love fellow believers as family and to “put their religion into practice by caring for their own family.” It is clearly essential to God that we not only love our spiritual family, but that we also do not neglect to show honor and care to our relatives. The way we treat our parents, spouses, and children is a great reflection of our true character, and it matters to God. In 1 Timothy 3 the Apostle Paul is adamant that leaders of the church must be faithful to one wife and manage their children and household well. Scripture is filled, from Genesis to Revelation, with the prominent theme of family. God created the idea and values it so highly that he calls himself our Father in Heaven.
The health of society depends heavily on the well-being of the nuclear family. If you want to see the direction culture is headed, observe how or if they value family. Does culture promote godly marriage? Do they celebrate new life? Do they honor the elderly? As a whole, we can answer “no” to all these questions when looking at North America in the 21st century. As we aim to “develop passionate and relevant servants,” we want students diving into Scripture to see what God has to say on these issues. As students learn about God’s design for creation, they will see the purpose and value of the nuclear family. While many students come from broken homes, on our campuses we want students to see what healthy marriage and family looks like, while also understanding that there is grace and redemption for their situation.
As staff we are expected to live faithfully and joyfully, with grateful hearts. We want students to understand that – in Christ – singleness and marriage are each a blessed gift![5] Students should see what it looks like for families to include singles in their daily activities, as well as what it looks like for singles to include families in their day-to-day life. Ultimately students should be able to see, through the life of staff, what it means to live in the unity of the Spirit as the family of God.[6]
This article would not be complete without a definition of what we do NOT mean by this core value. To love, appreciate, and affirm each other does not mean what society would indicate. This raises the question: What do each of these words mean under a biblical definition?
The Apostle Paul defines “love” in 1 Corinthians 13 where he writes:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Co 13:4-7).
We read in this passage that love is not proud. To love each other means to live humbly; to point others to the glory of God. In light of the lies which media constantly bombards us with, it is key to notice that love does not delight in evil. Love, under a biblical definition, demands that we speak the truth. We do not delight in the sin of a fellow believer and will, when necessary, in love, rebuke those who are living in sin. Ephesians 4:14-15 says that instead of being tossed back and forth by every wind of teaching, we need to speak the truth in love so that “we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Loving our brothers and sisters in the family of God means pushing each other to grow in spiritual maturity.
The staff at Millar College are frequently reminded to appreciate the talents of those around us; to not see them as a threat to our own success but as a gift to the greater team. Likewise, we expect students to lift each other up and celebrate the success of others. The Apostle Paul also expresses this message in 1 Corinthians 12 when he says:
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good (1 Co 12:4-7).
The skill level of an individual is less important than their attitude. Especially seen on sports and Worship Arts teams, we expect students to encourage one other, pushing their teammates to be the best they can be.
To affirm one another in the body of Christ means that we value each person. Genesis 1:27 is clear that man is created in the image of God. Therefore, whether someone is ninety-eight years old or only a few weeks old, we value life. We cherish friendships with all ages and are thankful for the old and young who visit our campuses regularly. There is great benefit in students interacting with staff families, as well as staff making students part of their families during the college year. We affirm that every student is made in the image of God and has great value.
“The staff at Millar College are frequently reminded to appreciate the talents of those around us; to not see them as a threat to our own success but as a gift to the greater team. Likewise, we expect students to lift each other up and celebrate the success of others.”
To affirm one another does NOT mean to affirm sin that holds us in bondage. Colossians 3 is clear we must rid ourselves of sin and clothe ourselves in the righteousness of Christ. Immediately after Paul exhorts us to live as those who have been made alive with Christ, he gives instructions to Christian households. Once again, we see the inseparable link between living holy lives in unity with the family of God, and honoring our parents, brothers, sisters, spouses, and children.
God’s creation of family is a beautiful picture of how the greater body of Christ should operate under our Father in Heaven who has adopted us as sons into his eternal home.[8] I believe, now more than ever, that faithful Christian families have an immeasurable impact on society. Husbands, wives, children, brothers, and sisters all have a special role to play in the way we care for and respect one another. Our lives at home matter to God and bring him great glory when submitted to his design.
About the Author
This article in our Core Values series is written by Shania Ruten, who serves in the Worship Arts department at our Pambrun campus.